Recently one of my friends has been under attack and so I am now taking stand to defend her and her position. I stumbled across this blog post which states many things that I disagree with and attacks Lactivists, though not necessarily my friend, and I would like to address these statements.
A big issue I have with "lactivists" is the predominant attitude of "if you don't like it, don't look." This stinks of selfishness to me... I just think the brazen "to hell with all who disagree" attitude is not the way to show people that breastfeeding is natural. It seems that open dialogue, consideration, and compromise would be a better pathway.
In my opinion, people who promote breastfeeding by doing it publicly are anything but selfish. They are often ridiculed and treated cruelly by others who disagree. I am reminded of those who fought for Women's suffrage, especially Alice Paul, who refused to be silent. There were many others who sat aside waiting for the vote, but Paul would not wait; women had been waiting long enough. Paul was defamed, imprisoned and horribly mistreated, even by those she once campaigned with. I am sure many people called her selfish and immoral at the time, but I dare any woman today to say that she doesn't appreciate her right to vote.
Another beef I have with "lactivists": breastfeeding is the only right way, and anyone who gives their child cow's milk or formula is doing irreparable damage to him/her.
I have yet to hear a lactivist say that feeding a child formula instead of breastfeeding is doing irreparable damage to them. In fact lactivist Elizabeth Gene says this: "Women should not feel guilty if they are unable to breastfeed, but they should feel guilty if they are unwilling to do so, and they should be intellectually honest enough to know the difference." This is the point lactivists are trying to make. Not, "shame on you for not breastfeeding" but "shame on you for not being willing." Many, many women are not willing to even attempt breastfeeding because in many ways formula feeding is easier, but also because many women think it is gross. I wonder why?
Here is a quote from a response to this post: Bottle feeding doesn't make you any less of a mom...Nutritionally, they're pretty much the same...Formula, anymore, is actually rather good. And if your kid's gonna be a sick kid, there's not a whole lot you could do to change that. I think breastfeeding may have been necessary for many infants to survive because in the old days, there weren't simple antibiotics or good remedies for a lot of things, like pertussis, pox, polio . . .
The only thing this woman has right is that bottle feeding does not make a woman less of a mom, however breast milk and formula are NOT nutritionally the same, and formula is not even comparable to breast milk in most ways. Sure, it is made to simulate breast milk, but it is not, nor will ever be, breast milk! Need proof? The American Academy of Family Physicans has this to say based upon science, not opinion:
Despite the resurgence of breastfeeding in the late 20th century in the United States, breastfeeding and formula feeding continued to be considered virtually equivalent, representing merely a lifestyle choice parents may make without significant health sequelae...not breastfeeding is associated with increased risks of common conditions including acute otitis media, gastroenteritis, atopic dermatitis, and life-threatening conditions including severe lower respiratory infections, necrotizing enterocolitis, and sudden infant death syndrome. The health effects of breastfeeding persist beyond the period of breastfeeding. Children who were not breastfed are at increased risk of obesity, type 1 and 2 diabetes, asthma, and childhood leukemia.
Based on just the studies referenced in the above quoted article, breastfeeding helps in many ways that vaccines and antibiotics cannot. If this isn't enough info for you, just ask, I have LOTS more information to share! As far as guilt for the bottle feeding mother goes, I thought this quote from the AAFP was insightful:
Although physicians make health recommendations about many aspects of infant care, many physicians still worry that advocating breastfeeding will cause parental guilt. In fact, parents may feel less guilt if they have had an opportunity to learn all the pertinent information and make a fully informed decision.
That statement is based upon a survey done of parents and providers about encouraging breastfeeding. I know it is not possible for every woman to breastfeed and we are blessed to have the alternative of formula but I defy anyone to find scientific studies that prove that formula is nutritionally equivalent to breast milk.
In conclusion I want to leave you with my dear friend's words which describe exactly why she chooses to be so vocal in pushing this issue:
The real issue is that breastfeeding women are being discriminated against. We are asked to hide or leave while bottle feeding women (be it formula or breast milk in the bottle) aren't. I want to be with my friends and family when I'm out. I don't want me or my baby to be treated like we're dirty and wrong by people who feel that I should be "discreet." I feel that discreet should be left up to the comfort level of the mom.
13 comments:
Yes! Nice review! I think it's too bad that so many people think breastmilk and formula are similar.
Miss you guys!
Very interesting. I breastfed both of my children - and bottle fed as well so that Dad could help and bond that way as well.
If women want to nurse in public- go for it. Even though I support breastfeeding 100%, I am not comfortable with MYSELF whipping it out in public. Perhaps it's the way I was brought up. Perhaps it's insecurites, maybe it's just the need to be private. I'll openly breastfeed in my home but not if my in-laws are visiting. I would feel like I needed a blanket or something to cover me.
But like I said, women that are comfortable breastfeeding in public with no covering are more than welcome to in my opinion, and should be able to. I just am not going to do it myself.
Thanks for the post! I was honestly a little nervous about breastfeeding while out and about - when, where, how - when I started in to this adventure. My mom's attitude about it really inspired me to run with it and not worry - more or less she told me as long as I was being considerate, I could breastfeed anywhere. Yes, I am modest about it - my choice - but I don't leave the room or the table! I agree that it should be left up to the comfort level of the mom.
I'm with Becky. I've breastfed everywhere, but I never felt comfortable without a blanket. An unintended upside: Celeste would get all excited when I'd get out her "nursing" blanket. ;-)
Carrie, you rock. :)
And it is important to remember that formulas do have things breastmilk doesn't- like corn syrup. :)
Ok. That was snarky. You can start flaming me now if you'd like.
Well written!
Woohoo! I Read that girl's blog post and the comments left and was appalled. First, a blanket is NOT a compromise, and I'm not even sure why I have to compromise because of the way I chose to feed my child. Carter refused to be covered with a blanket, so I figured out how to do it discreetly (which was pretty easy considering my tiny boobs :P ). Besides, why don't you try eating under a blanket and tell me how it feels?
A breastfeeding mother should never feel the need to go to a bathroom to nurse because that is disgusting. She should never have to leave anywhere, for that matter.
I also wonder how many formula feeding moms have actually tasted the formula. It is NASTY tasting stuff. It pretty much tastes like a metal shard. So do not tell me it's just as good as breastmilk, or that it's equivalent. That's bull.
I don't care if a mom formula feeds out of medical necessity. But to not even try to breastfeed, to not even use your breasts for, IMO, what God gave them to us for, is a darn shame.
I could go on and on, but the point is... breastfeeding is not a subject that should be up for debate. And if someone thinks I'm selfish because I put someone in their place when they insult my right to breastfeed, then there is something wrong with them, not me.
BTW, TopHat, you are my hero.
I agree w/you on most notes. I have a hard time w/moms who don't even try or do things to their bodies (like extreme dieting and exercise) so they don't produce enough milk and then wonder why their baby doesn't eat.....but I agree w/Becky L. about feeding in public. I did too, even on Paris parkbenches. But I was always covered. I am not okay w/women exposing their breasts, to feed or not, in public (places other than w/family) bcse it's a modesty issue plus respect for others. I wouldn't want to see my male neighbor walking around his apartment w/the window open just because he has the "right." Close the window and respect those outside! I think there is a time and a place. I think we should be discreet and use a blanket. And don't do it in sacrament meeting unless you are totally covered or out of view completely. It makes a lot of males uncomfortable. We have to give them that respect (esp those that are single and think of breasts for sexual reasons only...or who don't have breastfeeding wives). Like women not wearing immodest clothing so as not to tempt them, even if they don't want to be tempted. It makes people uncomfortable (if the mom is conversely uncomfortable nursing w/a blanket or cover...go somewhere else..i had to feed sammy in the airport bathroom and it was annoying but less so than getting stares or having him pull of the blanket accidentally and exposing myself to all others). Hope that made sense.
Go lactation consultants!
Although I respect the way you feel, Hannah, I do not agree that breast feeding is a modesty issue at all.
In this country breasts are primarily only seen as sexual parts of our bodies, and why do you think that is? It is because we NEVER see them used for their divine purpose. Of course, if a man is told his whole life that breasts are only sexual then he will look upon them only in a sexual way. If, however, he/she grows up in a culture where breast feeding is normal, not taboo, then he will not see a breastfeeding mother in a sexual way either.
It IS possible to breastfeed discreetly without a blanket. I have done it many times and seen it done many times. There is a chance that a breast will be exposed at some point, but oh, well! How a mother breastfeeds is up to her comfort level, not the comfort of other people. I guarantee that more women will be likely to breastfeed if it was something that was seen as normal, not something to only do in private.
Oh, and an additional thought about modesty: TopHat wrote a great post about this and I don't think I could say it any better myself.
http://itsallaboutthehat.blogspot.com/search?q=modesty
P.S. And back to thought of women voting. One of the arguments used against women voting was that it was against nature for a woman to participate in public life, a "man's sphere." It is interesting that the same argument is being spun in a different way and used for public breastfeeding. It is sad that despite all that women have gained, we are still stuck with the idea that anything that is womanly, motherly, should only be done at home and in private.
I breastfeed Hailey everywhere and anywhere, but I, like Becky and Aubry, choose to use a blanket to put over myself. I don't mind at all if other moms breastfeed openly in public without covering--I'm honestly completely fine with it---but I just don't want my own breast whipped out for all to see :). Also, I plan to slowly wean Hailey after she is 12 months old and be done with breastfeeding by the time she's about 15 months old. Even though I could continue to breastfeed for, well years I guess, I don't think I should feel guilty about weaning her when I've chosen to. In fact, I think that how a woman feeds her baby should be a decision between the mom and dad of the baby and all facts should be taken into consideration. Not just best nutrition, but family situations, economic situations, other children or a new pregnancy, the emotional and physical health of the mom etc, etc...I am all for moms who choose to breastfeed one child literally for years (my own sister wants to breastfeed her daughter until her third birthday). That's a great commitment and accomplishment--but not something that I choose to do. And I don't usually feel guilty...except sometimes I feel like other moms who consider themselves "lactivists" look down on me for that decision. I try not to let it bother me, I understand their points, but I have to do what I feel good about. We all do. While I have enjoyed exclusively breastfeeding Hailey these last 10 months I also look forward to giving her whole milk when the time is right and being able to enjoy not being pregnant and not breastfeeding for a while before we contemplate when we'd like to have baby # 3. (Not for a while mind you, I've got my hands full with these two!)
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