2010 Resolution Update: 4 months left!

The Gigantic Beet!

Here is our update on our resolutions to let you know that we have not forgotten!

• 1) No longer shop at Big Box retailers unless absolutely necessary: We have done pretty well on this. Andrew has needed to buy clothes at JC Penney because he has not been able to find clothing that fit his needs at thrift and consignment stores. We went into a K-Mart to buy some mattress pads because I feel weird about buying someone's soiled mattress pads.
• 2) Strive to buy only US made goods and if we cannot, buy fair-trade items: Buying locally really helps and we are lucky to have many farmer's markets, local tradesmen around here. Unfortunately, aside from food, we haven't really had the opportunity to buy anything new.
• 3) Buy as many used/handmade items as possible: We are doing awesome at this. It has become a habit to look first at thrift/consignment stores before we even think about buying something new. We often go "treasure hunting" as a family once a week.
• 4) Support our borough by attending borough events: We haven't attended any events for a few months because of my pregnancy sickness and later miscarriage putting me out of commission for most of the summer but with Fall quickly approaching I am gearing up to get involved again.
• 5) Grow a small garden and frequent local farmer's markets: Small garden did just O.K. this year but with the weird weather I am not surprised. I learned a lot and next year I will plant VERY differently. We haven't been going to farmer's markets as frequently as I like, but I go to an Amish farm and a locally owned and operated grocery store for most of my produce. Our meat comes from local farmers in bulk so we don't spend much time/money in larger grocery stores.
• 6) Eat-out only at locally owned restaurants: Uhhhh, we haven't done great at this one, mainly because I hate Amish food and had weird cravings all summer.
• 7) Become involved in a community group: No luck on this one either due to my summer being indisposed. I am still looking for something to be involved in.

For the next four months we have the challenge of preparing for Christmas which will focus on handmade/thrifted items and I am anticipating that will be rather difficult. Ravenna's gifts this year are covered as I collected things gradually while thrifting. 

New Blog!

I am pleased to announce that I have finally decided to create a personal blog for all my hippie-ness so as not to offend or irritate those of you who only come to this blog to see updates on our family. I will try to keep my crunchy ramblings on this blog to a minimum so that you can greater enjoy the drewcarrie-ness.

Some Inspiration

For the past few months I have been following the blog So You Think You're Crafty like a ravenous reality TV fan and have been really impressed/inspired to do a lot of the crafts. Only today I discovered the links to all the crafters participating on the right side. Duh! I thought I might share some of my favorites. I would love to post pictures, but I am pretty sure that isn't cool (does anyone know the rules?), so I will just post the links to the tutorials:

• Mint-Ginger Preggo Pills:  Obviously this was more on my mind when I was pregnant but I still think it is an awesome idea and I would have really loved to have had these in my first trimester. 
• Market Produce Bags: I already have reusable grocery bags but I have never been able to find good produce bags. These are great because they are mesh and this crafter used easy to find dollar store laundry bags.
• Dinosaur Play Mat: Felt and Dinosaurs? Need I say more?

There are lots of great crafts on there but these three are ones that I think I might actually get around to making...one day.  Also, go check out one of this week's three finalists to SYTYC, Emilie (I know her in real life. It is like hanging around a crafting celebrity!).

After a Miscarriage

Everyone keeps asking how I am doing and I never answer honestly because I don't think most people really want to know, but here it goes.

Right now I hate being around many people. I have been putting off going back to Church so as to avoid the awkwardness that I have felt every time I have been around fellow Church members since the miscarriage. Everyone keeps asking how I am feeling, like I am sick. I am not sick, my baby died. I am depressed, hormonal, lonelier than I have ever been but I am not sick and I do not have a disease.

Most people stay away. They don't ask me about my miscarriage or how I am handling the loss. They just avoid it. I want to talk about it and I need to talk about it instead of pretending it didn't happen. Nobody tells you what to do after a pregnancy loss. Most people wonder if you are going to try to get pregnant again soon, but few people are bold enough to ask, and really, it is an inappropriate question.

For three whole months up until my miscarriage, and probably even before that, all my future plans had been focused on a baby, but now there is no baby and the emptiness is overwhelming. A lot of women I talked to start trying to get pregnant again right away. I guess that is a way to try to fill the emptiness, but what about people for whom that is not an option? The medical profession says that a woman should wait anywhere between 2-6 months to attempt to get pregnant again. Then you throw in people with infertility and who knows when they will be able to have another child or even IF they will get a chance at another pregnancy. So, the "experts" tell women who have recently miscarried "Don't think about getting pregnant again until you have healed." What does that even mean?

I want to know what to do NOW. I need a way to focus my energy into something that isn't baby centered or even family centered. I am not looking for more responsibilities because I can't currently seem to fulfill the ones that already have; I am looking for something for me to escape that is productive and helpful so that I can focus on something other than the emptiness. I haven't even been able to make a real meal for my family since my brain doesn't seem to work correctly, which I suppose is part of the postpartum hormonal madness. Even small, simple tasks feel incredibly difficult.

So to sum up, I am trying to get back to normal but finding that to be an overwhelming task.

Empty

Today my kind father-in-law brought us a tree; a weeping fig. It has shiny, abundant, beautiful leaves and it now sits in a corner of our living room only a few feet from where, at 2:00 this afternoon with the support of my husband and midwife, I gave birth to a baby that I will never know.

We purposely didn't tell many people of our pregnancy because for us these experiences are private and sacred. I had just passed the first trimester mark and we were beginning to get excited about the prospect of all the joys the next months would bring. Now we are struggling to come to grips with this loss and understand how this fits into God's plan for us.

Despite the pain, physical and emotional, I am grateful that I was able to give birth in the privacy of my home, naturally. I am grateful that God loves us enough to have given me and Andrew spiritual insight about this pregnancy so that we could be prepared when it did not turn out as we had wished. I am grateful for Christie and Derek who rushed over in the middle of the night to give me a priesthood blessing and be with our daughter while we went to the emergency room. I am grateful for Jenni for being so honest about her experiences and helping me to know what to expect with a missed miscarriage. I am so very grateful for Jillynn for calling me as soon as she found out and crying with me. I am so very grateful for a husband who stayed up with me as I labored in the early morning hours and supported me when the pain became too great and I became discouraged. I am grateful for my kind and sensitive midwife, Mary, who came to be with us and help us through the final stages. Lastly, I am grateful for the many prayers prayed on our behalf.

If this is hard for you to understand or you don't know what you could do or say that could possibly help, Jenni blogged about this based on her own experiences. Perhaps reading her post might help you in the future if you are ever in the position to help someone who has miscarried.

Happy Anniversary to US!

August 12, 2004

Six years, three states, five LDS wards, three apartments, one house, zero pets, assorted crunchiness and one child later we are still in love and enjoying life together as DrewCarrie! Happy Anniversary to US!

Birthday Banner!

A few weeks ago my friend Hannah asked me to test a pattern that she was going to be selling in her Etsy shop...and I just finished today. It wasn't that I didn't WANT to do it in a timely manner, it was just that I had to do it a certain way. First I wanted to spend very little money making it requiring me to scour thrift shops for suitable fabric which was a success. Secondly, I couldn't find bias binding so I had to make my own. Did you know that 1 yard of fabric makes 72 feet of bias binding? I didn't know that and it took me 2 days of painstaking measuring, cutting, sewing, folding and ironing strips of fabric. Then Hannah's pattern called for machine applique and I prefer to do that by hand which meant it was even more delayed but now it is complete!

Here is a detail of the applique that I did. This is a blanket stitch and it is the first time I used this. Learning is fun! I used three different applique stitches on the letters. Be sure to check out Hannah's Etsy shop and this awesome pattern! Seriously, this was a great pattern to work with; I highly recommend it!