Empty

Today my kind father-in-law brought us a tree; a weeping fig. It has shiny, abundant, beautiful leaves and it now sits in a corner of our living room only a few feet from where, at 2:00 this afternoon with the support of my husband and midwife, I gave birth to a baby that I will never know.

We purposely didn't tell many people of our pregnancy because for us these experiences are private and sacred. I had just passed the first trimester mark and we were beginning to get excited about the prospect of all the joys the next months would bring. Now we are struggling to come to grips with this loss and understand how this fits into God's plan for us.

Despite the pain, physical and emotional, I am grateful that I was able to give birth in the privacy of my home, naturally. I am grateful that God loves us enough to have given me and Andrew spiritual insight about this pregnancy so that we could be prepared when it did not turn out as we had wished. I am grateful for Christie and Derek who rushed over in the middle of the night to give me a priesthood blessing and be with our daughter while we went to the emergency room. I am grateful for Jenni for being so honest about her experiences and helping me to know what to expect with a missed miscarriage. I am so very grateful for Jillynn for calling me as soon as she found out and crying with me. I am so very grateful for a husband who stayed up with me as I labored in the early morning hours and supported me when the pain became too great and I became discouraged. I am grateful for my kind and sensitive midwife, Mary, who came to be with us and help us through the final stages. Lastly, I am grateful for the many prayers prayed on our behalf.

If this is hard for you to understand or you don't know what you could do or say that could possibly help, Jenni blogged about this based on her own experiences. Perhaps reading her post might help you in the future if you are ever in the position to help someone who has miscarried.