Dinner: Shrimp Fritters, Potato Salad,
& Mandarin Oranges
Today I made potato salad with the last of the beautiful organic Yukon Gold potatoes that I bought in the Fall from a nice Amish farmer. Ravenna was napping, the house was clean and the dishwasher humming in the background was the perfect music for a wandering mind. I considered my accomplishments to this point and discerned, as I had many times in the past, that there was no particular thing that I was especially good at.
You would think that for a perfectionist this occasional realization would be a maddening reminder, but for me, as I peeled the skin off cold potatoes in the dim winter light of a north facing window, I felt a certain peace acceptance.
I quit playing the flute at 14 because my band instructor told me that I would never be really good at it, mediocre at best, and I did not really like it anyway. During high school I joined the Future Farmers of America with its numerous and diverse activities, certain that I would find something that I could be really good at. Yet, at the end of four years I was again reminded that I would never do very well in any of the many activities that I participated in and I abandoned the pursuit of a degree in agriculture for the pursuit of academic glory. Here is where I did the best. I had a knack for knowing my academic strengths and weaknesses and thus avoided classes that I would not do well in. This is not to say that I was not challenged, but I stuck with the things that I thought would lead me to eventual success, my niche, as it were. In the end I only graduated Magna cum Laude, not Summa, and missed being Valedictorian by miles. On my graduation day I cried at the loss because I had come so close. I did not need the honors, more the validation to continue in my studies.
Moving onto to full time employment to support my husband while he finished his studies, I entered into a job as meaningless and unfulfilling as any job I have ever held. I was extremely grateful for the position that paid the bills but resentful at the fact that every morning I woke up dreading the day ahead of me. I quit that job after only 11 months believing that I was moving onto a bigger, better job and a crack at graduate school glory, but that was not in the cards for me.
One month after quitting, I found myself pregnant with Ravenna, a delightful surprise, and all plans for further employment and graduate school were put off indefinitely. I jumped into becoming a full time housewife with all the zeal of June Cleaver. I wanted to be the best, most economical, crafty cute, organized and emotionally put-together housewife there ever was.
Luckily, I did not let that zeal extend to motherhood. I realized early on in my pregnancy that motherhood is not something you can excel at because you are dealing with another person and to do justice to the calling, you must abandon your self-interest and give over to love, patience and compassion. To be a good mother is merely to do your very best and hope that to the little person whose care you were entrusted, that it will be enough.
And so, folding cubed potatoes into the creamy dressing while chatting with my husband about his day, I resigned to my mediocrity. I wish I could say that I had some great epiphany about how my inability to do anything very well fits into the Great Plan of Happiness or spiritual reassurance that my inherent divine worth as a daughter of God would make up for my lack of excellence, that is not what happened. I felt merely acceptance of what I am: a decent person and a good wife and mother, and that is enough.
Placing the bowl of salad into the refrigerator I breathed a sigh of resignation. Then I realized that I had neglected to put the hard boiled eggs into the salad. Drat!
Potato Salad
6 hard-boiled eggs
10 Red or Yukon Gold Potatoes, boiled for 15-20 minutes and cooled, peeled and cubed
1 c. Mayo
1/2 c. ranch dressing
2 tbsp. prepared yellow mustard
1 1/2 tsp. salt
1/4 tsp ground black pepper
1/8 tsp paprika
1/8 celery seed
4-6 green onions (depending on taste) sliced thinly
Stir together mayo, ranch dressing, mustard, and spices in a mixing bowl. Add eggs, potatoes and onion and stir gently until evenly mixed. Cover and refrigerate at least 2 hours before serving.
Shrimp Fritters, adapted from BHG
1 lb. peeled and deveined shrimp with tails removed, chopped
1 egg, beaten
4 green onions, thinly sliced
1/4 c. all purposed four (I used my gluten-free baking mix)
2 tsp. Old Bay Seasoning
1/4 c. cooking oil (I used Extra Virgin Coconut Oil, which I always use when I fry)
In a small mixing bowl beat the egg. Add the shrimp and the rest of the ingredients and mix well. In a large skilled heat the oil (it is best when it is good and hot) and then add the shrimp mixture by 1/3 cup full's. I find that the best way to do this is to really pack the mixture into a 1/3 cup measure and drop it quickly into the oil. Cook for 3 minutes on each side and let drain on a paper towel. Serve immediately.
